While dating, our intentions are usually to settle down with the love of our lives. Except for a few who just want to waste time or date for fun. If you ever make up your mind that you want to get married, then the first thing to do is to stop dating unserious people and focus on finding your life partner.
This may not really be as easy as it may sound. Honestly, you will need to use wisely your discernment and personal judgment to be able to do this.
I know there are lots of opportunities to find someone to date, especially in this era of dating apps and social media. However, if you are dating to get married, you will need to change your perspective about dating. Since you are ready, here is the easiest approach to find your life partner fast and settle down in no distant time.
1. Don’t Just Depend On Dating Apps Alone
Frankly speaking, most people on dating apps like Tinder and Badoo are just there for hookups. Calm down! I know there have been a couple of people who found their soul mates on these apps but trust me, it is rare. Like very unlikely to find a serious relationship on these apps that could potentially lead to marriage. It’s a game of luck if you ask me.
Expanding where you spend your time other than dating apps and social media will go a long way. You could hang out in bars, coffee shops, libraries ,etc. Even in your place of worship if you are a religious place could be helpful. The goal is to be in a place that is more relaxed enough to find and attract mature dates.
2. Know What Qualities You Want From A Partner
As we were growing up, we all had the kind of relationship we envisioned but as time goes on and we get matured, things changed and we realize we wanted more. What are the qualities you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Write them down and revisit them from time to time. Does he/she need to be tall? from a particular ethnicity or religion? What social status? Knowing these things will help you focus on finding the perfect match for you.
3. Casual Friends? No
This might sound somehow but honestly if you are really ready to settle down, you need to make way for the most important things. This includes cutting some casual and unserious relationships you had. You and I know those relationships aren’t heading anywhere, so why not clear your mind in preparation for the one? Yes, you will be lonely, you will be drained, you will struggle, but trust me, it’s worth it. Cut them off!
4. Be Conscious of Your Location
If possible, move to a new location where there are more options. This might look somehow but you are the one that knows what you want, and you can’t get it sitting down on the same spot. Go out and meet other singles that are ready to mingle. If there are opportunities in your present location, why haven’t you had the luck? Think again!
5. Don’t Hesitate To Ask Tough Questions.
I once asked someone out and she went straight to the point, “Do you want to marry me?’. This kind of question may not be a very sexy question to ask on a first date but it sure gives your partner a hint that you are not in for fun only and wouldn’t want to waste your time.
You also need to be careful and play safe here so you don’t end up looking desperate and they take advantage of that. However, the truth remains that if your partner is someone who is marriage-minded, He should as well be thinking about his future, and sharing them with you will make your goals align. If not, then run!
6. Make Sure You’re Ready For Marriage.
I have seen a couple of people who say they are ready for marriage but when asked what they have to offer, they get mute. While having a list of must-haves for your partner, also make sure you are prepared for this partnership! Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself some questions. “If I am the opposite sex, would I marry me?”. “Am I the kind of person that someone else would want a long-term relationship with?”. Sincerely answer yourself these questions. If negative, then consider sorting your mess by getting rid of all baggage like trust issues, doubts, rapaciousness, insincerity, and all those things capable of ruining the relationship in the long run.
7. Get Help From Older Married People
You may argue that these people are outdated to get opinions from but that’s not true. The best way to get what you want is to take advice from those who have that thing you admire. Look out for couples in your vicinity that have good marriages and ask what keeps them going. They’ve been in the game long enough to have gathered experiences that would help you in your dating.
8. Play A Little Hard To Get
You may not like this idea and contrary to popular opinion, but make sure you wait before sleeping with your new date. I know it’s your body and you are free to do whatever you want with it, but you have to wait and make sure both of you are in for each other and not just some pretense to get laid. I am sure we have at some point date someone who suddenly changed after getting sex. Personally, I have.
Don’t forget the goal here is to find a partner to settle down with. So make them wait a while so their true colors will be revealed. If they are in for just sex or money and are constantly disturbing you about it, then clearly this isn’t what you want.
Read Also: The Best Way to Go From Dating to Marriage
9. Don’t Be Sweet Tongued
Yes, this goes for ladies especially. A friend once told me that women don’t like to be told the truth, so they often get deceived with lies in sweet tongues.
Someone can say all the right things we want to hear, but are these things backed by actions? Are they putting up the effort to make things work? A relationship is a partnership, you shouldn’t be the only one trying. Someone who truly wants you will make the effort to do what they are promising. If they are not, then you need to move on. No time to waste.
10. Be Open Minded
We all have the qualities we want from our partners. Yes, but you need to bear in mind that no one is perfect including you. Don’t expect anyone will fit in 100% to your criteria. However, you also want to know the length to which you can compromise. You can’t be doing the same thing and expect different results.
If you really want to settle down, then you need to step outside your comfort zone. Go out there, explore new opportunities, be adventurous and at the same time friendly, then look out for someone who has similar interests and values,
We all have the potential to fall in love, but it’s a shame when we settle for less than what’s really out there. Great love is out there, you just need to be open to finding it. So try these easy approaches and spread your love around! Good luck and happy hunting!