How to get a man to commit: 11 Failproof Ways

  • 16 mins read

​It’s not just about getting your perfect man to fall heads to toe in love with you, I know you also need him to stay with you and not disappear like others did. What if you could make him actually stay? And, if he loves you much enough to begin with, how can you make him committed to you? How can you make sure he sticks with you for something serious? If you are trying to get a man to commit to you in a relationship, then you will need to know the basic ingredients that makes a lasting stable relation. I will be sharing with you in this post, 11 failproof ways to get a man to commit, it’s a guarantee that you’re going to win his love and commitment!

Just in case you have a different perspective of what commitment is all about, take this in simple terms;

When people love each other, they do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. When things get hard, they stick by each other. When their partner wants something different, they make some compromises. They also try hard to keep the relationship alive, even when things are difficult.

Without wasting your time, let’s dive in to the ways to get a man to commit in a relationship.

#1: Keep your past in the past!

When you’re in a relationship, it can be tempting to want to talk about your past. But the fact is, if you’re going to get a man to commit, you need to keep your past in the past. You might think that talking about your past will help him trust you more, but what it actually does is make him feel like you’ve given your best to your first man and nothing more left for him than a broken worthless piece—and that’s not going to get him to commit.

You don’t have to tell him everything, but don’t lie to him either. If you’ve been in a relationship or two in the past, just be honest about it. Don’t let him think that you’re still hung up on your ex or that there are feelings lingering that could make things awkward if they come up again. If he asks about it, just be honest and say “I’m over it.” Stop telling him your bad pasts and behaviors in the hopes that he will love you the more or trust; that will only push him away

Instead of thinking about what your ex said or did last week and how much you wish he’d just disappear from this earth forever, focus on making sure that the man who is currently in your life feels like he’s important enough for you to have chosen him above all else. Make sure he knows how much he means to you by showing it through your actions every day.

#2: Focus on yourself first and define what you want from a relationship.

This movement is all about empowering women to be at least the best versions of themselves, and one of the best ways to do that is to commit to a relationship with yourself first.

You don’t need a man or anyone else to tell you who you are, what you want, or how to live your life. You are the only one who can define those things—and it’s time for you to do it.

So what does it mean to commit to yourself? It means getting clear on what your needs are in a relationship. It means defining what makes you happy and giving yourself permission to go after those things. It means taking responsibility for making sure your life looks exactly how YOU want it to look.

You need to let him see you are working to be the best version of yourself. You have to work on your own goals and ambitions so he knows that you are driven and motivated. You need to be positive and optimistic such that he sees that you are a happy person who is content with her life. Believe me, it is when you are at your best, he will be more likely to want to be a part of your life and to commit to you.

Commitment is a key component of successful relationships, but it starts with commitment within ourselves first.

#3: Build a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding

When you’re trying to get a man to commit, it’s easy to get caught up in your own desires.

  • You want him to be more available,
  • You want him to pay more attention to you, and
  • You want him to make some kind of commitment that shows he cares about the relationship.

You need to build a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding. You need not be unnerving. Pay attention and understand what a man is looking for in a relationship—and then give it to him!

If you want him to commit, don’t push too hard or demand too much from him. Give him space when he needs it, but also let him know when something is important enough for you that it deserves his attention.

#4: Be willing to compromise.

If you want a man to commit, you need to be willing to compromise. It’s not just about being flexible—it’s also about being open-minded, and understanding that your partner might have different ideas or preferences than you do.

It is in women’s nature to want to remain relevant in a relationship and this often makes women want to dominate in decision making. But you can’t expect him to make all of the concessions in your relationship. If you’re always the one who does that, then you’re not going to get what you want—and he’s going to lose respect for you as a result.

Instead, try being willing to meet him halfway on the things that matter most to him. And don’t just do it once and expect him to keep making concessions forevermore: make sure that every time he makes a concession, it gets met with an equal or greater concession from you.

It’s also important to remember that compromise isn’t just about what you want—

  • if for instance, he is not the party type and you are the regular attendee of even uninvited parties, then both of you can talk things out and meet halfway.
  • If he likes that you come over to his place to spend the weekend but you feel it’s not really convenient for you, then you need to talk things out and meet halfway.
  • If he has some goals for the future, you better work with him to actualize that instead of setting your own unilateral decisions that often lead to unhappy ending.
  • What if he doesn’t like elaborate wedding? Can you come to a compromise?

This way, instead of feeling like you’re getting taken advantage of or pushed around by your partner, he’ll have a sense of fairness and balance that will help him feel secure in his relationship with you and more likely than not lead him toward commitment!

#5: Stay independent while you’re in a relationship just like you did when you were single.

You already have so much going for you, don’t let a relationship make you lose sight of who you are. Yes, it’s important to respect the boundaries of your partner and never let them feel like they need to take care of you financially or emotionally. But if your independence means more than just being able to buy your own groceries and getting other basic necessities, then don’t let that go away just because a man loves you.

Being able to support yourself is an incredible accomplishment—it shows that you’re capable of making responsible choices and living independently. And while it might be tempting to lean on your partner during difficult times or when things get tough financially, remember that they can’t always be there for you (and neither can anyone else).

Don’t be the type that mysteriously go broke with house rent, bills, family issues to sort out immediately a man indicates interest in you. Don’t push him out by being a liability. While a man is there to support you, it is not their responsibility to cater for all you need. You have been surviving before you met him, so stay independent! If you are looking for someone to foot all your bills, then go get a job. Don’t make your relationship transactional!

It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re in a relationship and become more dependent on your partner than before. But if you start to feel like you need your partner for everything, it will only make him feel more insecure about the relationship.

#6: Don’t act like you’re interviewing him for the role of your future husband.

One of the most important things to remember when you’re trying to get a man to commit in a relationship is that he’s not going to make any big decisions about his life until he feels safe and secure with you.

That means that if you’re constantly asking him questions (“When are we getting married?” or “Do you think we should have children soon?”), or acting like you need him to fill out some kind of application before he can move forward with your relationship, he will feel as if he’s being judged and evaluated all the time.

easy way to get a man to commit in a relationship

Instead, try asking yourself what you want from him in a relationship and then let him know when you’ve decided what those things are—but don’t be too specific!

You’re not a casting director. You’re not trying to figure out if he’d be right for the part. You’re just trying to see if he thinks you’d be right for the part, and if he thinks that, then maybe it’s time to take things further.

If you approach dating like an audition—like a series of hoops that have to be jumped through before you can get to the good stuff—you’ll always be frustrated and disappointed. You’ll never feel like someone’s really into you because they’ll be so busy trying to impress you that they won’t actually show up as themselves.

#7. Don’t be possessive.

It’s natural to feel a little protective of your partner when you’re in a relationship, but being overly possessive can be a major turnoff for men. Men are generally looking for someone who is independent, and if you start acting like his mom or trying to keep him on a short leash, he’s going to run for the hills. Be sure to give your guy some space so he knows that he can have fun with other people without worrying about what you’ll think of him.

You’ve heard this one before: A man who’s afraid of commitment doesn’t want a woman who’s possessive. He wants to be free to go do his own thing and not have to worry about what you’re going to say when he comes home late or if he’s going to be able to go on that fishing trip with his buddies.

So don’t be possessive!

  • Don’t check his phone,
  • Don’t ask him where he was last night, and
  • Don’t get upset when he wants to hang out with his friends instead of you.

You’re not his mom, and he doesn’t need your approval or your constant attention. Let him do his thing, and then when he comes home at night or wakes up in the morning, you can talk about how much fun it was for him last night or how much fun it will be for him tomorrow!

If you’re looking for a committed relationship, then you might be tempted to cling to your man. But if you want him to commit, you should probably avoid this at all costs.

If he feels like he’s being trapped in a relationship, he won’t want to commit. Instead, try putting yourself first and letting him see that he can trust you with his heart.

#8: Keep a little mystery to yourself.

how to get a man to commit in a relationship

If you want to get a man to commit, then you need to keep him guessing. This is especially important when you’re going through a rough patch or if you’re just not sure how you feel. If he knows everything about what’s going on in your mind, he might decide to commit (or not) based on what he thinks is best for you—not what’s best for him!

Bear in mind that he’s not going to want to make a commitment if everything is out in the open, and he’s got no idea what he’s getting into. Men love to know that they have the power to get a woman to open up—and that they can do it without having to resort to trickery or coercion.

So keep a little mystery about yourself! Talk openly and honestly about your feelings, but don’t spill all the details. You don’t have to be an open book—just let him know that there’s more where that came from.

#9: Don’t rush the relationship forward before it is ready.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being forced into a relationship before you’re ready, and we all know that feeling can be enough to make even the most dedicated of men run for the hills. If he feels like you’re pressuring him, it’s only going to make him feel trapped, which will turn him off even more. Instead of pressuring him into commitment, try using your words carefully, and let him know how much you’re enjoying getting to spend time with him without acting like there’s an end goal in sight.

I know it’s hard to be patient, but you’ll have a lot more luck if you don’t rush things. If your boyfriend is still feeling hesitant about committing to a relationship, then he probably needs more time to figure out what he wants.

If you’re feeling impatient and want to move things forward, try talking to him about why he’s hesitating. Maybe there’s something he needs to deal with first before he can open up and commit to you.

If you feel like his hesitation is just because of fear of commitment and that he’ll eventually come around on his own, then maybe it’s time for you two to take some space and see how much you miss each other when apart.

#10: Stop looking for a husband.

If you’re looking for a man to commit to you, it might be time to stop looking for a husband and start looking for someone who wants to commit. The problem with looking for a husband is that it puts pressure on the relationship, which means that if things don’t go according to plan, you may feel like it’s your fault.

The fact is, if you want someone who’s going to stick around, then stop worrying about whether or not they’re going to stay in the first place—and focus on making sure they enjoy being around you!

It’s a lot easier to get a man to commit when you’re not looking for marriage. The key is to find someone who is willing to be in a relationship with you without any expectations of the future.

Most men want to get married eventually, so if you tell them that you’re looking for someone who can commit, they’ll think that you want them to propose and start planning your wedding. But what if you just want someone who’s willing to hang out with you and go places with you? That could be anyone! So don’t tell him that; just let him think that he has time to figure out whether or not he wants to marry his girlfriend later on down the road—but only if he wants to!

#11: Don’t put sex off the table.

If you’re looking for a relationship that can last, you may have heard the advice to wait until after a few dates before sleeping with a man.

But there’s another reason to hold out: sex makes it harder for men to commit!

According to studies by Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, “Men value sexual exclusivity and commitment in their mates more than women do.”

So if you want him to stick around, don’t push the envelope too fast. Let him get to know you—and be willing to wait until he feels ready to make an investment in your relationship as well.

You may be thinking, “What’s the harm in sleeping with someone on the first date?” You’d be surprised. In fact, you could be making a huge mistake that could cost you a relationship with the right guy.

Many men will not commit to a woman who has slept with them too soon. They’ll assume that if you were willing to sleep with them so quickly, then you must not value relationships very much and are likely just looking for a quick fling. This can make it difficult for them to trust you in the long term and develop feelings for you.

So instead of putting sex off the table entirely, wait until after several dates before sleeping together—and even then, make sure it’s because both of you want to do it! However, don’t play too much hard to get that you even loose it before you know it.


If you want to create a healthy relationship with a man and get that relationship to hatch into marriage, then you need to follow these tips. If you don’t really care about making your relationship last or getting married and having children, then don’t bother yourself. After all, if you want a quick hookup, you can always get one. But if you want something more meaningful and stable for your life, don’t waste years being unsatisfied with guys who won’t commit because you didn’t bother following doing the right thing that will put you out there for good.

I hope this tips on how to get a man to commit will help you get the best this year.

Have any question? Feel free to drop them in the comment section.

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