People have been asking me lately how they can keep their relationship so fun, nurturing, and positive. In order to answer the question thoroughly, I’ve taken a few months to analyze the situation and how one can improve intimacy in a relationship.
Intimacy is important in any relationship, whether you’re married or not. It’s what keeps you connected to your partner and allows you to grow together as a couple.
But what exactly is intimacy in a relationship?
I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “intimacy”, I think of romance and Parisian lovemaking under the Eiffel Tower (well, I do now!). However, intimacy means different things depending on what phase of your life you are in. When you are new partners, intimacy might be feeling each other’s heartbeat while lying in bed together. When you’re married, it might be having a meaningful conversation over tea. Both of these situations can be intimate, but they are different kinds of intimacy. Thus, one type of intimacy is not necessarily better than the other!
In fact, intimacy is a feeling of closeness and trust with another person—a deep understanding of who they are as an individual, and also how they fit into your life as a partner.
This includes both physical and emotional intimacy. It can be expressed in many different ways: through touch, eye contact, sex, communication, compliments… the list goes on!
But when it comes down to it, intimacy is about vulnerability—both yours and theirs—and sharing something very personal, special, and sacred with each other.
First, what’s the importance of intimacy in a relationship?
Intimacy is an important aspect of any healthy relationship, and it’s something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
You might think that intimacy is only important to you as a couple, but it actually plays an important role in your children’s lives too. How you interact with each other as a couple can have an impact on how your children feel about their own relationships. If they see you communicating openly with each other and showing affection, they’ll learn positive ways to do the same with their partners later on in life.
It’s also good to remember that intimacy doesn’t have to be physical—it can be emotional or mental as well. That means being honest about how you feel about things, instead of holding back or trying not to make waves.
In this article we’ll discuss 7 ways to improve intimacy in your relationship:
Don’t confuse sex with intimacy.
When it comes to intimacy in a relationship, there are two things you can do: either make sure you’re doing things that help you get closer to each other, or do things that keep you apart.
We all want to be closer with our partners, and the best way to do that is by doing things together—whether it’s going on a date night, watching a movie together at home, or simply cuddling while watching TV.
It’s important that you don’t confuse sex with intimacy. Sex is an intimate act between two people who care about each other and want to connect physically in a way that feels good for both of them—but it doesn’t have to be connected with emotional intimacy. It’s important not only for your relationship but also for your self-esteem as a person that you know where your boundaries are when it comes to sex and intimacy so that neither one gets confused or blurred.
While intimacy is often associated with sex, it’s actually much more than that. According to an article by psychologist Dr. Gary Brown, intimacy is “a feeling of closeness between two people who have an emotional bond.”
If you’re thinking about investing in a relationship or marriage, here are five ways to improve intimacy:
Don’t confuse sex with intimacy. Sex isn’t the only way to increase intimacy in your relationship; it’s just one way. According to Dr. Brown, there are many other ways to increase intimacy, including:
- Sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings
- Listening attentively when your partner speaks
- Touching each other in loving ways (hugs, caresses)
- Expressing gratitude for what each of you brings into the relationship.
If you want to improve intimacy in your relationship, then you need to get romantic.
Romance is an essential part of any healthy relationship. It’s what keeps the passion alive, and it’s what gives your partner the reassurance that they are still desired and loved.
Relationships can become boring when they are routine and predictable, so it’s important to mix things up a bit and bring some romance back into your life.
Romance is a key part of any relationship. It’s the little things that can make your partner feel special and remind them how much you love them. Here are 7 ways to improve intimacy in a relationship:
- Surprise them with a gift.
- Plan a date night and make it special by creating an experience they’ll never forget.
- Hug them when they least expect it!
- Compliment their looks, personality, or anything else you appreciate about them!
- Send them a cute text message to let them know how much you care about them!
- Write them a love letter telling them all the reasons why you love being with them!
- Show up unexpectedly at their work or home with flowers or chocolates!
Talk about your feelings and thoughts.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to forget that the person you’re with is just as much of a human being as you are. You know their favorite color, their birthday, and their favorite movie… but what about the things that make them feel vulnerable? What are their fears? What do they want out of life? And how can you help them achieve those things?
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and forget that your partner is an individual with hopes and dreams all their own. But if you want to have a healthy relationship, it’s important to remember that your partner isn’t just there to support your goals—you need to support theirs as well. And one of the best ways to do this is by talking about your feelings and thoughts.
Here are 4 ways that talking about your feelings and thoughts can help improve intimacy in your relationship:
- It builds trust.
- It helps both partners feel closer and more connected.
- It gives you both an opportunity, to be honest about what’s going on in your lives and how it affects each other (good or bad).
- It allows for mutual understanding, which leads to better communication between partners
Don’t compare your current partner to an ex.
In order to improve intimacy in a relationship, you have to focus on the present and not the past. You can’t let yourself be distracted by the fact that they don’t look like your first love or that they don’t do things exactly as your ex did. The only thing that matters is what’s happening right now, and that’s what you need to focus on if you want your relationship to stay healthy and happy!
Don’t compare their physical appearance with anyone else’s. This includes comparing their hair color, eye color, height, weight, voice tone, and so on. Your partner has his or her own unique traits that make them who they are—and those are what makes them special!
Don’t compare how much money they make with how much money an ex made—or even any other partner made for that matter! Money isn’t everything (and neither is appearance or career success) so don’t let these things influence how much time and energy you give.
You need to understand that one of the biggest ways to improve intimacy in a relationship is to stop comparing your current partner to an ex.
This is so important because what you’re doing is essentially putting your current partner on trial. You’re asking yourself, “Why isn’t he/she like my ex?” and then coming up with a list of reasons why they don’t measure up. You might discover that your ex was better at cooking or had better hair, but instead of focusing on those superficial things and losing sight of what’s really important about your relationship, try looking at each person as an individual and not just as a comparison point.
You might also be able to improve intimacy by getting rid of any negative influences from past relationships. If you’ve been hurt before, it’s likely that you’ll still have some lingering feelings toward your ex-partner—and those feelings could be affecting how well you get along with your current one! It may be helpful to talk things through with a friend or family member who knows both parties well (and who isn’t too invested in having one side win). They can help reassure you that these feelings are normal and that they will fade over time—but only if you let them go!
Be open to adventure.
If you want to improve intimacy in your relationship, it’s time to open yourself up to an adventure.
What does this mean? Well, it doesn’t mean that you need to start rock climbing or skydiving (although those are great ways to add excitement). But it does mean that you need to think about the way you approach your relationship and your partner.
Think about how often you push the boundaries of what’s comfortable for you and your partner. If you prefer routines and consistency, try mixing up your date night schedule. If your partner likes spontaneity, maybe try a routine instead!
You can also take this idea of opening yourself up to adventure into bed with you: ask your partner what turns them on and then try doing it for them! It’s a great way to find out if there are any new things that will help boost intimacy in your relationship.
You can’t let your relationship become stagnant, and that means stepping outside of your comfort zone. You have to be willing to try new things with your partner. And when I say “new things,” I don’t mean going out for dinner or playing board games on the weekend. I’m talking about those little things that make each day unique—like having lunch at a different restaurant every day or taking a walk around town instead of driving.
These little adventures will help you get out of your comfort zone in a way that feels good and makes you feel closer to your partner. And as you’re doing these fun, little things together, you’ll be remembering why you fell in love with each other in the first place!
Get to the root of underlying issues like resentment or anger
You’re in a relationship, and you’re having trouble with intimacy. Maybe it’s because of resentment or anger; maybe it’s just that one of you is always busy, or working late.
Whatever the case may be, there are ways to improve your relationship and get back on track! Here are seven tips:
- Identify the root of the issue
It’s easy to get caught up in how you feel at a given moment—and then take it out on your partner. Before you can address any problems that may arise, you need to figure out what’s really going on. If you’re feeling resentful or angry, ask yourself why. Are you struggling with some underlying issue that needs to be addressed? Or are you just having a bad day? Might there be something else going on?
- Don’t try to fix everything at once
It’s tempting to immediately jump into fixing things when we’re upset with our partner, but this can actually make things worse. Instead of trying to solve every problem all at once, take time to talk about your feelings and concerns so that they don’t build up over time (and then explode). This will help you both feel heard and understood—and it will give each of you space to work through whatever issues are coming up for each of you individually so that they don’t interfere with your relationship as a whole.
Below are a few other ways you can easily resolve issues and improve intimacy in your relationship.
- Talk about your feelings early and often
- Be patient with each other (and yourself)
- Don’t use sex as a weapon or a reward
- Give each other space when necessary—but don’t let too much time go by without checking in
- Practice good communication skills and listening skills (this means actually hearing what the other person is saying!)
- Make sure both you and your spouse are happy with your individual lives before entering into a relationship together (don’t rush into anything!)
- Never forget how much you mean to each other!
Spend quality time together.
Want to improve intimacy in your relationship? Try spending quality time together.
Spending time together is a great way to deepen your connection, which can make it easier for you to share yourself with your partner. It’s also a great way to show that you care about each other and that you’re willing to invest time into building something special.
Whether it’s going for a walk or taking a trip somewhere new, spending time together can help you feel closer than ever before.
It’s all about quality time.
If you have a good relationship, chances are you and your partner don’t feel like you’re spending enough time together. If you have a bad relationship, chances are that feeling of not having enough time with your partner is making things worse.
But no matter where you fall on the spectrum, it’s important to understand that the issue isn’t how much time you spend together—it’s how much quality time you spend together.
Quality time is when you’re focused on each other and what each of you has to say, not just filling in gaps between tasks or events. It means talking without distractions or interruptions, getting off your phones, and putting down your laptops so that you can really listen to each other. Quality time is also about being mindful of each other’s needs and desires—not just yours!
It doesn’t have to be expensive: go out for lunch instead of ordering in; plan a night at home where both of you put your phones away and just talk; or give some thought to the kind of activities that would make for a great date night (or even just one night).
Remember: relationships aren’t about quantity—they’re about quality!
Takeaway: How to improve intimacy in a relationship
As our relationships grow, we generally tend to care about different things. The possibilities for intimacy within a relationship are actually quite limitless; the trick is being willing to try new things in order to better understand and connect with your partner. It’s oftentimes the small, routine snippets of conversation and interaction that make up the fabric of a loving relationship. Those less dramatic moments are important just the same—so don’t discount them!
A couple’s emotional and physical health are intertwined, and when one suffers, the other often follows. And while some problems may seem impossible to fix, or just too big for you to deal with on your own, there is hope if you stay dedicated to the process of growth.